| Healthy: Self-assured, energetic,
and competent with high self-esteem: they
believe in themselves and their own value.
Adaptable, desirable, charming, and gracious.
/ Ambitious to improve themselves, to be
"the best they can be"
often become outstanding, a human ideal,
embodying widely admired cultural qualities.
Highly effective: others are motivated to
be like them in some positive way.
At Their Best: Self-accepting, inner-directed,
and authentic, everything they seem to be.
Modest and charitable, self-deprecatory
humor and a fullness of heart emerge. Gentle
and benevolent.
Average: Highly concerned with their
performance, doing their job well, constantly
driving self to achieve goals as if self-worth
depends on it. Terrified of failure. Compare
self with others in search for status and
success. Become careerists, social climbers,
invested in exclusivity and being the "best."
/ Become image-conscious, highly concerned
with how they are perceived. Begin to package
themselves according to the expectations
of others and what they need to do to be
successful. Pragmatic and efficient, but
also premeditated, losing touch with their
own feelings beneath a smooth facade. Problems
with intimacy, credibility, and "phoniness"
emerge. / Want to impress others with their
superiority: constantly promoting themselves,
making themselves sound better than they
really are. Narcissistic, with grandiose,
inflated notions about themselves and their
talents. Exhibitionistic and seductive,
as if saying "Look at me!" Arrogance
and contempt for others is a defense against
feeling jealous of others and their success.
Unhealthy: Fearing failure and humiliation,
they can be exploitative and opportunistic,
covetous of the success of others, and willing
to do "whatever it takes" to preserve
the illusion of their superiority. / Devious
and deceptive so that their mistakes and
wrongdoings will not be exposed. Untrustworthy,
maliciously betraying or sabotaging people
to triumph over them. Delusionally jealous
of others / Become vindictive, attempting
to ruin others' happiness. Relentless, obsessive
about destroying whatever reminds them of
their own shortcomings and failures. Psychopathic,
murder.
Key Motivations: Want to be affirmed,
to distinguish themselves from others, to
have attention, to be admired, and to impress
others.
Examples: Bill Clinton, Oprah Winfrey,
Jane Pauley, Michael Landon, Tony Robbins,
Tom Cruise, Barbra Streisand, Sharon Stone,
Madonna, Shirley MacLaine, Sting, Paul McCartney,
Dick Clark, Whitney Houston, Ted Danson,
Micheal Jordan, Shania Twain, Sylvester
Stallone, Arnold Schwarznegger, Billy Dee
Williams, Kathy Lee Gifford, Truman Capote,
and O.J. Simpson. |